Storage Locker Madness

Storage Locker Madness

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Storage lockers can contain all sorts of dark and murky materials. From personal documents, to old photographs, to antique furniture and sex toys, you never know what you could find.

Of course, this rarely happens. In the state of California, when the rental charge on a locker goes unpaid for three months, its contents cease to be the property of its original owner. Instead, the locker’s contents go up for auction, with any Tom, Dick, or Harry able to make a bid. Usually, the results are disappointing: a flea-ridden mattress and some out-of-date crisps, or a pile of faded plastic children’s toys next to a stack of rotting wood. If nothing else, we can at least hope that temperature controlled storage would prevent bidders from being subject to any particularly unholy smells.

However, occasionally punters strike gold. A locker owned by Paris Hilton was famously auctioned off years ago, generating millions of dollars of profit for the new owner, and a rather salacious website called Paris Exposed which is now, sadly, defunct.

Lower-tier reality star Tila Tequila also failed to pay her bills, meaning that her self-portraits, clothes, and journals were technically no longer hers. In more recent years, a locker owned by Lindsay Lohan looked in danger of coming under the hammer. Lucky for LiLo, her rental fees were paid in the nick of time. Had this not occurred, who knows what might have emerged?

Given the sheer number of people that own storage lockers through services such as koalastorage.com.au, one can’t help but think of what some other high profile figures might have locked away…

Tony Abbott

We bet he has a few skeletons in his, er, locker. We’re thinking some worn-out speedos, a few top-secret political documents, and a first draft of his memoirs. Surely something in the locker could be used to fast-track his political demise.

storage-ginaGina Rinehart

Self storage lockers in Perth may not be subject to the same regulations that apply in California. Even if they did, it’s unlikely that the majority would attract much bidding interest. Gina Rinehart’s personal locker, however, could be a bonanza. In addition to million of dollars, a disgruntled child on a terribly small six-figure allowance, and the ghost of Rose Hancock, we’re betting there would be at least one beautiful pearl necklace.

Rihanna

If we were to take a peak at RiRi’s storage locker, we’d know just what to expect: 15,000 unsold copies of her first album, half a dozen old wigs, and a lot of weed.