Prepare to have the foundations of your very existence shattered: Hello Kitty is not actually a cat! In a move that is sure to have the internet fuming, Sanrio (HK’s creators) have announced that Hello Kitty is indeed a human being. In fact, she’s a young British schoolgirl named Kitty White who lives in a fashionable London Borough.
That’s right- Sanrio have asserted that Hello Kitty is in fact a human and we’ve been getting it wrong the whole time. How silly were we? I mean, she has a cat’s head, she’s covered in white fur and has whiskers. How could we get something so wrong?
Let’s weigh up the evidence of her humanity: Hello Kitty is always standing on two feet, has a cat of her own (the dreadfully named Charmmy Kitty) and a twin sister named Mimmy. It’s all pretty convincing stuff, but completely illogical if you consider what you’re looking at.
The wacky news article made it all around the world news circuit today, with scores of commentators and spectators taking to social media to express their incredulity towards Sanrio’s announcement. It also set the Google Hot Charts ablaze, with over twenty thousand searches related to the confusion.
The Hello Kitty story is one of unrivalled success and unchartered economic windfalls. Invented by Yuko Shimizu, the character first appeared in 1974 on popular vinyl coin purses, a fad which soon spread to the USA. Since then, Hello Kitty has become a global phenomenon which nets Sanrio $7 billion a year without any advertising!
All in all, it’s been a good day of free media for a company set to earn untold millions worth of revenues related to the recent upswing in interest. The newfound fascination with her back story will surely see millions of new fans hitting stores for clothes, trinkets and other Kitty-related ephemera. This will, in turn, guarantee Hello Kitty’s cult-status for yet another generation.
This article was brought to you by Kimberley Klub, Broome, Broome’s best backpackers and budget resort. If you’re ever in Broome, be sure to check out the vibrant and hip Kimberley Klub!